Mindfulness. It’s the buzz word these days. I know I sure say it a lot. But the truth is, mindfulness is simple but far from easy. Here are some reasons mindfulness might not “work” for you:
1. You’re expecting it to be easy, or to “work” quickly. You may be expecting it to do something that it’s not even supposed to do (hint: your brain is not supposed to have zero thoughts). These expectations will lead to not doing it regularly, or not sticking with it long enough to see any potential results. Try this: Do your research, ask your therapist what you should expect from a mindfulness practice. Learn which mindfulness practices are right for you (trial and error), and don’t expect to be “good at it” until you have been practicing regularly for several months. Even then, it’s still hard sometimes. Remember, it’s called a mindfulness PRACTICE because it takes lots of practice!
2. You’re struggling with feeling like a “failure”, or worry that you’re “doing it wrong”. This can make mindfulness not only not work, but downright uncomfortable! Especially when you’re an achievement driven person, slowing down can feel VERY different for our brains. Try this: Instead of engaging with these thoughts, develop a mindfulness about them. Learn to observe these thoughts as neutrally as possible. Label them “failure thoughts” or “worry thoughts” and resume the mindfulness practice. Believing these thoughts will just motivate you to disengage from developing the ability to be mindful. Start slowly in your mindfulness practice (3 minutes for example) and build up to 10 minutes per day.
3. Sometimes, mindfulness can be scary because it requires us to pay attention our bodies. When we have a lot of unresolved trauma (which is stored in the body), or unmanaged anxiety (which manifests in physical symptoms), we can become afraid of our bodies because they’ve been our warning system for so long. Try this: Bring this up with your therapist, and find other supportive calming strategies that don’t require a focus on the body like grounding practices, finding a calm place imagery, or other creative strategies that are supportive.
4. You’re feeling like you don’t have time to fit in a regular mindfulness practice. This is a legitimate concern, we are all super busy with way too many things! Try this: Pair your mindfulness practice with something you do already that doesn’t require a lot of mental engagement, like folding laundry, sitting at a red light, eating your food, or walking to get the mail. Implement the concepts of mindfulness that you learn from meditation into these activities as a way to get in your 10 minutes per day. Also pay attention to when it’s most helpful - is that in the morning with your coffee, or in the evening before going to bed? If you get in a routine, it will be easier to incorporate. As you learn more meditation strategies, you will find it’s possible to be mindful when doing just about any basic task!